Implications of This Hair
Initially, I let my hair grow simply curious of how it would form. Over the next couple years, my hair intertwined beyond my conscious intent.
Throughout the process, I’ve been coated with many negative perceptions. Most people found it so unsual and even irkful. I decided to use the opportunity as an exercise in crafting and retaining an empowering perception of myself despite the facade and letting it persist through the perceptions others develop and cast upon me. A valuable and crucial ability in manifesting forms much more significant than hair.
This was not done in delusion or denial but rather in exploration of the contrast between what we see things to be and what they actually are. It is a defiance of fickle perception and a dedication to personal foresight. I knew I would have to persist for years dawning a typically unfavorable appearance but eventually arrive at a more preferable state. It is so blatantly foolish to commit to an initial perception despite the numerous times such has been embarasingly proven false. Yet, so often, beliefs are swiftly infected with doubt.
Everything is in a state of perpetual alteration. This process is more easily noticed in some forms more than others. Some show drastic difference very quickly, some show very little signs of change over longer periods of time. The latter tends to be noticed all of a sudden despite the change being gradual.
Letting my hair grow and form without intentional interruption is an opportunity to observe constant change that is not so immediately noticable. It is a form that is always accessible to observe and changes quickly and frequently enough to take note of consistently yet slow and subtly enough to request particular patience and attention.
Throughout the process of my locks becoming more defined, my patience and acceptance wavered. People would often comment that my hair was weird and messy and desperately inquire what I’m doing with it. Despite repeated explanations about gradual formation, none of them ever came to wholly accept that this form was in constant change, insisting that I make it change rather than wait for it to do so. They simply would not bring themselves to see beyond their intitial perception of this form. They didn’t see becoming, only static.
I noticed the discomfort instilled in others simply through observing something unusual and not clearly defined. I also noticed how others’ perceptions seep into my own. With so many voices I must constantly revisit my own; cleanse and refresh my perception.
Every moment, I have access to many different, contrasting, yet equally valid perceptions and there is always a choice to shuffle through or settle, feed and flourish. From observing the freeforming journey of others, I knew there would be a long transitional process to reach the more defined forms, though they were of different genetic background and didn’t start the same way so I was never entirely certain of what the outcome would be. Regardless, it is important that I retain sight of possibility and recognize that where I am and what lays before me, depicts a brief scene upon the pathway. Seeking beyond consistently reveals more of reality and that first perception is merely a glance.
Now that this hair has grown into a more defined form, the same people show admiration of my hair. They ask what I did to it, how I got it to look this way. I simply reply “I let it grow”. Many meet this with disbelief. I find it rather sad to see people so disconnected from natural form. I’ve come across quite a few people who seemed so unable to accept the idea that the patterns so commonly forced upon hair called “dread locks” is an imitation of their natural form.
This form still exists within the reality of perpetual alteration. I’m deciding to let my new growth flourish and watch how it integrates. We’ll see how people interpret the undefined mixed with the established definition. Perception is so fickle. I refuse to place ultimate judgment on anyone, but after observing numerous instances of wavering perception and faulty foresight, it’s time to shut the fuck up!
Be in silence, relentlessly question and allow depictions to pass. Let the “known” dissipate so insight may arise.
This innocent form is now admired and appreciated and yet, it formed through a process that was despised and constantly met with a desire to impede and alter. In sight of this, what other, far more profound forms remain in the realm of mere possibility, unable to manifest by the forces of shallow foresight and impatience?
